In this millennial century, Filipinos still maintain certain gender-related communication attitudes rooted in our colonial past—attitudes that endure even as global perspectives shift. Many see these attitudes as traditions, integral to our culture.
Men believe they should be “macho” in both speech and behavior, using assertive language and expecting understanding. In contrast, society expects women to adopt a non-confrontational tone, especially when speaking to men, and to limit their conversations to topics deemed “appropriate” for women. However, these constraints on communication are increasingly fading. Women now feel free to speak loudly and assertively, much like comedian and political activist Juana Change, who speaks bluntly on political matters. Similarly, men openly express their emotions and even shed tears, as seen with Christian pop singer Gary Valenciano.
Filipino women were once expected to write in indirect and circuitous ways. This may have been true in Maria Clara’s time, but now, with their access to mass media and social media—as both readers and writers—Filipino women tackle topics far beyond what was once deemed safe. No longer soft-spoken, they write and speak with directness, exemplified by superstar Nora Aunor, who spoke out about Flor Contemplacion, the Filipino nanny executed in Singapore, whom she portrayed in a film. Today, the assertive language of Filipino women rivals the forceful delivery of activists like Monique Wilson, an actress and champion of One Billion Rising.
How should one dress and speak in a job interview? Men may get away with denim, but women are often expected to wear corporate attire. In the Philippines, we often call people by nicknames, even the President. We refer to those we meet as “Ate” or “Kuya.” Students often choose female teachers over male teachers to confide in, possibly viewing them as more sympathetic. Westerners tend to be more particular about whom they’re close to, remaining informal with friends but reserved with others. In Western workplaces, even years on the job don’t always mean employees can address a male boss by his first name. Still, some Western bosses, male and female, prefer employees to call them by their first names. Here, teachers are called “Miss” or “Mrs.” even when their first names are used. Male bosses in the Philippines are often addressed by their initials, like “MVP” for Manny V. Pangilinan, Chairman of Smart Communications, and “JZA” for Jaime Zobel de Ayala, Chairman Emeritus of the Ayala Group of Companies.
Filipinos love to smile and frequently do so. However, they use smiles to express various emotions, not just happiness. When a student smiles during an exam, the teacher may think the exam is easy, but the smile could actually signal nervousness about completing all the questions. Similarly, if someone smiles as a couple passes by, the girl might feel offended, and her boyfriend could react aggressively.
Understanding the dimensions of communication is essential because it reveals where miscommunication may occur. Communication, whether verbal or nonverbal, oral or written, formal or informal, or intentional or unintentional, becomes effective when the speaker skillfully combines verbal and nonverbal cues to convey the message to the listener. Additionally, culture and gender significantly impact the effectiveness of communication.
